The Awesome Greenery

The "Euro-English"European Commission has justannounced an agreement wherebyEnglishwill be the official language of theEuropean Union rather than German,which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, theBritish Government conceded thatEnglishspelling had some room forimprovement and has accepted a 5- yearphase-inplan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replacethe soft "c". Sertainly, this willmake the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favourof "k". This should klear upkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publikenthusiasm in the sekond year when thetroublesome "ph" will be replacedwith "f". This will make words likefotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse ofthe new spelling kan be expekted toreach the stage where morekomplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage theremoval of double letters which havealwaysben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mesof the silent "e" in the languag isdisgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptivto steps such as replasing "th" with"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o"kan be dropd from vords kontaining"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vilhav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultisand evrivun vil find it ezi tuunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of aunited urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al bespeking German like zey vunted in zeforst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas let ozers read zis.